Sorry You're Such an Ass

Photo Courtesy of CNN
Above: Pope Sidious I threatens to wipe Islam off the face of the earth for reasons of "academic interest"

In case you've been living under a rock for the past week or so, the Pope got himself in trouble with the general public of Islam. What could such a warm and cuddly chap say to get people mad? "Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Wow. That could only be taken offensively by radical islamic fascists that hate freedom, if you ask me. Naturally, the "radicals" went to town protesting the pope with their insidious tools of fascism such as picket signs and beards. No lie. Check these extremists out:


Above: Look! Not a clean shave among them!

So, we get an apology from Palpatine, right? Well... kind of. The "apology" stated that the Pope deeply regretted the outrage expressed at what he said. Fiasco avoided, eh? How many times have you seen a politician on the hill (Dick Durbin comes to mind) apologize for the reaction to his statements only to be blasted by the other side for it being such an underhanded non apology that he should have said nothing at all? They're right when they make that criticism, too. If I shoot somebody and then apologize to the family for taking it so hard, that does not express any remorse or apologetic attitude towards what I actually did.

The pope went on to say that he was just reading a quote from Byzantine emperor Manuel II Paleologus, and didn't believe the words himself. He even went so far as to say that he was trying to open a dialogue based on academic interest about the dichotomy between religion and violence. In a nutshell, his explanation of that explanation was that he meant the opposite of the quote he read. Now, naturally, the West is running the new story: "why are they still mad at us?" "radicals don't think apologizing is enough" and "jesus freedom liberty rawr!". O.K. I'll bite.

Fuck the Jews. They all have big noses, take all the money, hoard it ALL, and then perform miracles without the permission of their own god. Those fucking hypocritical swine.

What? You think that might have upset somebody? Wow you people sure are crazy in this post 9/11 world. Don't you realize that I was just quoting Hitler so that I could outline my position as being exactly the opposite of what he said? I wanted to pursue an academic interest in the dichotomy between bullshit and sincerity.